For the longest time now all I read or heard about us Parsis was .. the Parsi population is shrinking, the Parsis are dying, are we doing enough about it, why dont Parsis have 5 kids each (5 kids!!), girls are marrying outside the community, boys are not studying or pursuing well paid careers, girls are more educated than boys, people in the baugs dont marry early, people outside the baugs marry non-parsis blah bla blah bla blaaaaah.
But unless a Parsi match drops from the sky, the odds are really high on finding one that you really like, anyways. There is always the organic - we meet, we love each other, we marry - but it always needs a catalyst like a common friend, a dance party, New Years eve party at DPC, meeting someone at a pub or at the gym, having relatives in a colony or baug that you visit often etc. There is also the question of conversion and offsprings from a parsi-nonparsi marriage but I will let that be for now and delve into it some other time.
So what are we looking at - roughly 70,000 Parsis on the Indian subcontinent (mostly in Bombay) and then roughly an equal number or less spread all over the world with pockets concentrated in North America, UK, Sing/HK/Aus/NZ and the Gulf. Now I know the picky few will point out that there are more Parsis and some will say the number is over inflated. But for my own satisfaction I will take this number at around 120,000 worldwide. The 2001 Census reveals that Parsi community in India, collectively, stands at 69,601 heads (33949 males and 35652 females) - down from 76,382 in 1991. Add to that the data point that < 30% of this population is in the age band of 25–35 years and a 1.07 M/F sex ratio. Dont ask me how I came up with these numbers, just mashed some India Census 2001 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_India age band numbers with the Parsi birth/death ratio numbers etc.
Bottom line is "Houston we have a problem". As a Parsi youth lets say in Mumbai (where a majority of Parsis still live) I have the pleasure of meeting, dating and mating from a pool of roughly 10,000 potential matches. Its somewhat worse in North America and horrible in places like Delhi or Madras. Phew < 10,000 potential matches .. thats less than 1/6th the population of Lakshadweep (a tiny island off the coast of India). Well enough with numbers, I guess we all get the point that compared to our other Hindu, Muslim, Christian brethren the odds are really high for a Parsi to even meet another Parsi of the same age and then you need to like them enough to marry them (which demolishes large swathes of whatever's left of the 10000 eligible )
Building more parsi colonies and protectionism is surely not the answer.
I think the answer lies in this wonderful medium called the web. Recently I've met more Parsi couples who have found their match thru the web. There was a time not so long ago, if you were to tell someone in the community that youre using the web to meet other Parsis for marriage maybe, they would either laugh it off, or say something like "ta to badho vaasi maal malech" or feel that you might have some problem or shortcoming that you cant find a match through the more traditional mediums.
So to all the "vaasi maal" comments I say "web par to bou chokho maal malech" you just need an open mind, some safeguards and know where to find it. There is this wonderful site some one recently forwarded to me www.zpeakerbox.narius.net/vb/. I feel that sites like these will be the breeding ground for future generation Parsis. Its a great initiative by some level headed youths that have found the right outlet. All parents especially of youths where the Parsi population is sparse, might want to hook them into things like zpeakerbox. Its a small bunch of youths running a grassroots chat forum and sharing experiences. Things like zpeakerbox make the odds feel lower and so more power to them.
There’s also the Zoroastrian Matrimonial Page and things like Parsi Matrimonials - Shaadi.com which nip away at the odds as well. These are more like virtual colonies of folks with common interests (finding a match). So instead of peeping out of your window at all the eligible parsi guys and gals in your corner of Tardeo, one can view them online and the world is your playing field.
Its not just the websites, its a combination of sites, chats, forums that are kinda like the lounges of the real world. You get to meet interesting people that you wouldnt have had met otherwise, you chat with them exchange thoughts, like some of em … hate some. This can go on for as long as you wish or are comfortable meeting the person in real life. However a word of caution, most anonymous entities on the web need to be treated with a ample dose of skepticism. A lot of them are overrated and intentionally misguiding, so if you really want to take the leap and meet such an anon entity in real life, take all kinds of safeguards (tell friends or family, meet in public on bright sunny days, carry a cell, meet on your terms and turf etc etc etc). Anyways before I start sounding like an ol’ fogie let me wrap up.
BTW, here’s a really interesting post I read on zpeakerbox that I would like to share with y’all .. watch out she claim’s to be Brad Pitt’s girlfriend though 